I so forgot to post this earlier, the Hunter S Thompson film The Crazy Never Die. Its a strange little film produced by the infamous Mitchell Brothers giving the viewer front row access to a lecture the good doctor did at a university in the eighties. As lucid as it is intriguing in my opinion (Sourced from Disinfo)...
OK so I totally pilfered this from iheartpatstump (via@rachaelblogs) but what you gonna do, its the interwebs ok!
1)When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Evening all. Welcome to your Sunday dose of funnies. The above stone was found just around the corner from my local. There is a joke in there somewhere. In fact I'm sure there are about 50 odd, so I shall leave it open to you guys. Yup that's right, a caption competion if you will. Answers on a postcard (or more likely through the comments down the bottom there). Best one wins a night with James's Mum (click on through the break for this weeks post)...
 |
| Uber-creepy number plate... |
*UPDATE* As I pressed publish on this post both the panda and Pulp Fiction videos were pulled from YouTube. Apologies there is nothing I can do in these circumstances.
Morning all. Yup thats right. The lovely Emma Watson of Harry Potter fame (I'll Hermione her Granger *snigger*) has had all of her hair chopped off. And as you can see from the picture above, she is ultra smoking now...
In other news, I had a blog post to write. Oh yeah. So #FridayDrinks, Lincolns informal meet up of Twitter folk is 1 years old today. We wear big boys pants these days and everyfink. The do itself will be at the Adam and Eve, so if you're in Lincoln and on Twitter I suggest you head up to the Adam from about 7:30. In the meantime click on through the break for your dose of Friday Funnies (or stay here and stare at the picture of Emma for hours like I didn't do last night)...
Evening all. I trust you had a good weekend. It's been a funny old week. Especially if you're Lawrence Fishburne who discovered his daughter, Montana, is not exactly following in daddies footsteps by making a xxx sex tape for Vivid Entertainment. And I quote:
"I've watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape."Anyways some funny stuff in todays post; click on past the break to get your Sunday injection...
For @Rachaelblogs for cheering me up this afternoon...
A Welshman was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck.
Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. Looking around, he realized they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set.
One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better
and better to the lonely Welshman.
Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and... put his arm around it.
But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.
After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.
The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her and he slowly nursed her back to health.
When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening... red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon, the Welshman started to get 'those feelings' again.
He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and realizing he now had the opportunity, leaned over to the young woman cautiously and whispered in her ear,
'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'
This is amazing. Filmed at 9000 frames a second this minute and a half long video actually covers less than two seconds in real time. Watch...
These guys may a lot to Goldie Lookin Chain, but it's still piss funny. Stolen (like a true Newportian I believe) from the wonderful Miss Blogs. Innit. Like...
Like I said in my tweet yesterday you guys are gonna hate Sxip and his beats. They're really bad, you just won't enjoy them. It's just it means so much to me, it speaks to me. Its all about NYC and I've never been. In all seriousness Jim, you probably won't like this: I wouldn't even bother pressing play mate...
 |
| the 'pioneering' "Turds of Misery". Smile boys! |
Morning all. As I am sure you can see with your own two eyes I had a bit of a reshuffle and redesign around these parts. Its looking a lot tidier I reckon and I am loving my gallery up the top. Anyways I hope you like...
So I'm sure you've read all about North Koreas censorship of the world cup. Well now it turns out there are a heap of NK 'fans' who are in fact paid Chinese actors. I mean, WTF? Kim-Jong-Il thinks I'm at work indeed...
Evening all. Having a good weekend?
First up, 2 massive bits of sadness. The mighty Dennis Hopper has died from prostate cancer. In tribute, this short montage from arguably his finest hour...
Afternoon all. Gees what a scorcher of a weekend, brilliant! Hope you had a good one whatever you did.
Onward...
Bill Gates and Steve Jobs reminisce...
Next, ever wondered what goes on at a script writers meeting at Lost HQ...
|
Web Branding - The Best Website Designs & Search Engine Optimisation
I totally forgot to pimp this out earlier. Its my mates web design and branding service. You should give it a try, the rates are good and I can tell you first hand the designs are ace so get on it, go here. Yes I do endorse this service what of it?! I'm hoping if I do this he might do me some SEO work or some such on the cheap ;)
Afternoon all.
Some corkers today so I'll just crack on...
First up your mates would never believe it without the pic....
Next up more taser videos. Now I'm not sure if this is faked or not but its still damn funny...
Ha, morning all! Whats the go then? I deliberately wrote this post last night (or tonight if you wanna get all David Lynch about it) because you know its gonna be the first thing on yo mommas lips. The election that is, not my n...
Point is I've voted but I'm already bored of talking about it (and theres another reason I didn't post yesterday) and well, this is a funnies blog sooooo....
Don't tell me you wouldn't abuse your powers???
Evening all. Good long weekend so far? Remember we still have Monday to go!!
First up, this guy is so trustworthy, I can tell :-S...
Now then, really? Apparently this makes a great wedding gift...
This next video is brilliant. How advertising should be...
Have a top day off tomorrow peeps I will see you at some stage during the week...
Evening all. Good weekend? Obviously ignore the title of this post. I have never claimed to be a journalist and embrace new media and all its wonders. Now if you called me an amateur film maker and avid blogger, that I feel is somehow more accurate...
Anyways Iron Man is out taking revenge. Check it...
EMBED-Crazy Asian Gets in fight with crazy Red neck on bus - Watch more free videos
'OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first.
The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have
To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh*t?'
Morning all.
Gosh that flip-flop is sooooo far away. Man...
Evening all. Good weekend? Little life lesson, never mix bourbon and sambuca in the same night. It hurts...
This first one comes via @rachaelblogs...
Fancy some sex with Not-Quite-Beyonce??
This one may take you a couple of seconds but it is a genuine advert for lube I'm told...
Now this next video is in no way funny. I was disgusted tbh. This is from one of these tea party gatherings where a bunch of right wing red neck Americans get together and protest what seem to be some very sensible reforms to the ailing healthcare system in the US. Keeping in mind that these guys are meant to be Christian, I think baby Jesus would cry at their actions here....
Thats it. Have a good return to work and I will see you Tuesday...
Morning all. OMG its Friday again, how fantastic!
I just gotta post this video I know you will love it. From the always excellent Pomplamoose, September by Earth Wind and Fire...
Old Jokes Home:
A man goes to the doctor. The doctor shakes his
head and says, "I'm sorry but you're going to
have to stop masturbating".
"Why?" asks the man.
"Because I'm trying to examine you".
Ok finally for the day, ready for 25 seconds of pure antipodean cute overload??
Morning all.
First up I'm not impressed by this even as a Transformers fan. Its just, well, he's so proud of his ridiculous creation...
Evening all. Good weekend?
Nothing like an explosion to get things started. Texas stadium in Dallas, former home of the Dallas Cowboys. I've seen a bridge demolished in Clearwater, Florida and I can confirm they really do get that excited...
You can get everything at this car wash...
This would be so great for getting rid of people...
Friday again. Only one thing for it...
You know you've done bad when this happens..
Next up, A very funny advertising fail. Just bizarre...
Final for the day, the awesome Buffalo Bill scene from Silence of the Lambs reimagined, as a musical, in lego. Yup, really...
Afternoon all. Good long weekend? Apologies for the no post yesterday. I can't remember where I was but it was no where near a computer put it that way.
Anyways first up, Weird Al is a grammer nerd, watch...
Finally for the day, some advice for cock stars, sorry, rock stars from everybodies favourite spades a spade type guy, Henry Rollins...
And that told you. Have a good rest of and I shall see you during the week...
A bin man was collecting the rubbish, but one house
hadn't put its bin out so he knocked on the door.
It was Jonathan Ross' house.
Bin man: Where's yer bin?
Jonathan Ross: Er, sorry I was in the toilet
Bin man: So, where's yer BIN?
JR: I was in the toilet
Bin man: No where's your WHEELY BIN?
JR: OK, I weally been having a wank.
Morning all. That's right. No work tomorrow. W00t! Consider this your Friday Funnies as I won't be posting tomorrow. And I will be at the music quiz tonight at the Jolly Brewer hosted by @thucydides_uk. As you should be too.
Onward..
This one came via my good tweep @JustinReid and is an absolute corker, Galactic Empire State of Mind. He got 99 problems but a Jedi ain't one...
Morning all. Wasps. They are evil little fuckers I think. The below graphic only serves to prove me right...
Now this next one is a little fudging weird. Scarface as a school play. I'm kinda speechless...
Next up and finally for the day, we have had lots of fun with the Japanese over the past couple of weeks but this really is just weird! And they're blacked up too. Japan, listen! Blacked up is NEVER funny!!!
